Tuesday, January 24, 2012

better days

"Gray skies are gonna clear up, just put on a happy face..."

Last week was quite possibly one of the most emotional weeks of my life. The decision to stop nursing was one of the hardest I've made. Not many people realize that last week was the first time I EVER gave one of my babies a bottle myself. There was never a need for me to give one before... I've been blessed to be with both girls full time since their birth and I just nursed full time because that's just what I wanted to do.

I also hadn't banked on the hormone crash that comes with sudden weaning. I spent two nights on the sofa, sobbing and curled up to my husband, asking if I was making the right decision. I was sick with a massive sinus infection, to boot, and spent several late nights awake coughing, hot towels on my face and crying. A lot of crying. Friday morning things came to a head when I had a bad reaction to some medication and I got extremely sick and laid on the floor of my bathroom for 3 hours.

And then, at some point in the day, the clouds parted and the sun peeked out from behind its cover.

Within a matter of hours, I felt as if I had stepped out of a thick fog I had been living in for 6 months. I literally felt as if I could see clearly for the first time in ages.

The baby slept a 9 hour stretch that night and after a bottle, went back down for another 4. 13 hours of sleep.

Everyone wound up sick over the weekend (save J, thankfully). Both girls have snot filled noses and lots of coughing. I landed myself in an urgent care clinic on Sunday morning begging for an antibiotic to rid myself of the drama going on in my sinuses. But we are all on the mend and discovering our "new normal." Because this is NOTHING like the normal of a week ago.

So, onward and upward.


Bits and pieces of life from the past few days?

1) Little L is potty trained. I am so proud of this. The pink princess potty "magically disappeared" one day, too. She still wears pull-ups at naps and bedtime but she often wakes up and goes to the potty herself and I find them dry when I take them off after her sleep. We have made several successful trips out and she has been at her Mother's Day Out class for 2 whole weeks in undies with no problem. I cannot believe I navigated this on top of everything else, but I am so glad I did.

2) Baby S had her 6 month check up today. I fell more in love with our new pediatrician as she was fine with my delaying this series of vaccinations and eliminating the flu shot all together. Baby S's little body has been through a lot in the past week, on top of being sick with a cold, and I just wasn't ok with her body being flooded with that stuff on top of everything else. I also think she is sensitive/allergic to eggs (I had whittled eggs and peanuts out of my diet on top of everything else before the great switch over) and I don't think that risk is worth it for the benefit of the flu shot. I much prefer the flu mist anyways, so I may just hold off on her getting any flu vaccine until she's old enough to get that (2). Beyond that? She had already gained almost a full pound from her appointment LAST WEEK and had jumped 10% in the weight percentile (29th to 39th). She was 66th for height (26.25") and 77th for head circumference.

3) Our formula is expensive. And it stinks to high heaven. I hate washing bottles, and I am quite OCD about the whole thing. I cannot leave a dirty bottle in the sink, so I have to wash them immediately. Even if it is 3 AM. I now understand why everyone around me complained about what a beating Dr.Browns are to clean.

4) FOOD. I am eating whatever I want again and I am loving it. I was afraid I might have a sensitive tummy to reintroducing dairy but I've actually been just fine. I'm sure I'll gain a bunch of weight back fast.

5) My husband is "glad to have me back." I was really shutting myself off in a shell before this decision... just not myself at all. I'm blessed to have a man who is so beyond patient and supportive.

6) All of the "to do's" that were sitting around my house unfinished (oh, there were MANY) have been tackled in the past few days. I've had the drive (and the time! 2 hour naps!!) to just get things done and I feel awesome. I had piles of random things I needed to tackle all over and I am just so happy to have everything done.

7) I am planning a THIRD birthday party. I have no idea how that it is possible. It was one of those daunting things I couldn't seem to muster up enough energy to just do and I forced the issue as a priority yesterday. We both agreed we couldn't stand do it here at the house again and I knew if I didn't book something now, I'd be out of luck pretty quickly. Party is booked. Invites are ordered. Cake has been picked and theme approved by the birthday girl. (It is SO WEIRD she has an opinion about it this year, but at the same time I love it.)

This is the day the Lord has made; I will be glad and rejoice in it!


  1. Yay for happier/healthier days!! I'm so glad you and the girls are on the mend and that things are getting back to normal.

    3 years old?? Say it ain't so!

  2. Hugs. I'm really glad it was so obviously the right decision. I think it would have been so hard if you had made the switch and then not seen any clear results. Glad things are looking up.

    How did baby S. go with taking the bottle? That's always been a fear in the back of my mind, since we never introduced one with E.- that if for some reason we had to switch, he wouldn't accept it.

    A THIRD birthday party?! How can it be possible?!


  3. So sorry to hear about the sicknessess! Chase has strep throat. FUn Fun! Birthday planning! I truly admire your strength with everything you do, Job, full time mom, wife. You rock! Don't ever think you are doing anything wrong Mel! :)

    --Your neighbor across the way..

  4. So so glad you're on the mend.

    How are they THREE?! I'm just addressing B's invites today... he wanted his "fwends" from school to come so we're having it at a local play place. So thrilled yet so sad that he's growing up. *tear*

    I can feel your smile through this post, so glad you're cheerier. xo

  5. So glad to hear that things are looking up for everyone! Especially you though. It's tough when momma is out of commission because it throws the whole family balance out of whack. Glad to hear that the babes are doing better too!! Enjoy eating whatever you want!!! ((hugs))

  6. this is a happy post! dnjoy whatever food you want!
    way to go L and S - you have two rock star daughters on your hands :)

    and I don't think our girls can be 3 this year, i just don't think it can happen!

  7. I am playing catch up!!! Backward, too, ha ha! You sound more yourself, more together. My decision to bottle-feed Elaina when she was about a month old started off with me bawling and bawling... and then my daughter was looking up at me while drinking her bottle and we FINALLY connected (when trying to breastfeed her she'd scream and arch away from me and just wouldn't latch; in retrospect I probably should have seen an LC but it is what it is). It was like we both took a deep breath and the world around us settled into a calm. Love seeing L's and S's sweet faces on FB (even if I don't always comment, I'm so bad at that sometimes!). ♥