Friday night I was supposed to attend a huge, fancy grand opening of a swanky new hotel my company developed. I was actually excited all week to have a legit excuse to need a babysitter for a cool event and drag my husband with me for a work event-turned-date. The week was crazy, I didn't even think about what I was going to wear until an hour before we were supposed to leave and... well, you know. I tried on every single article of non-casual clothing in my closet and nothing fit. Because, I mean, I am still only 4 months post partum and although I've lost all the baby weight (courtesy of my MSPI imposed diet), my body is still weird and lumpy and everything I own that isn't jeans and a tshirt is a size-too-small for weird, lumpy post baby body. So I looked like a stuffed sausage in everything and I wound up sitting in a huge pile of clothes and fancy heels on my closet floor in tears. And just like that, we decided not to go at all. LAME.
I moved baby S to her room at night and its going ok. She's definitely sleeping longer in the morning because our commotion isn't waking her. She's still waking once or twice at night but I think its a combination of things and I'm not really worried about it. There's the whole 4 month sleep regression, a growth spurt, early signs of teething and a major developmental leap going on up in this house right now. Also? She's started laughing... like real, adorable, rock-my-world baby laughter. I'm not sure I could be wrapped any tighter around that little girl's pinkie finger right now.
Little L is a mixture of AWESOME days and AWFUL days. Heck, it is sometimes changing from hour to hour around here. But I'm dealing. She's my girl and I'll take the bad with the good any day. I'm glad for the 2 days a week she's in "school" and I'm so proud of how much she's learned in the past few months. I know she's teaching me more than I'm teaching her. Most heard phrases these days include "No, ma'am!", "Be a lady", "BE QUIET, MAMA" and "I love you more." You can surmise for yourself which ones make me want to come out of my skin and which ones make my heart melt.
The holidays are here. We are in the midst of a host of family drama, on both sides. So. While I am eager to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year, part of me wishes we could just lock down these 4 walls to contain just these 4 people. I've had a love/hate relationship with this aspect of the holidays ever since we got married, though, so at least I've come to expect that there will always be some unpleasant parts for me. I'm going to SAVOR the kid stuff, because I already anticipate that the look on Little L's face Christmas morning is going to trump any other junk that tries to bring me down.
I got a new stocking for baby S. We bought a new Christmas tree. We're going to shop for outdoor lights this weekend, right after we decorate the whole inside of the house with our new tree, garland, sparkly lights and candy canes. We're also painting Little L's room and bathroom tomorrow and I'm determined to find something cute to put on the wall over baby S's crib. So there's all that home-type stuff.
My post partum hair loss has started with ferocity. After 8 fistfuls of hair in the shower this morning alone, hair appointment to chop it all off tomorrow. That is the end of my hair story.
Baby S is 4 months on Saturday. Her appointment is next Tuesday. She looks very, VERY long and skinny to me. I am curious to hear her stats and discuss more the MSPI situation with her pedi. I keep telling myself I can do this and I keep finding myself not knowing what to eat and starving at the end of the day. I'm too tired to get creative with the cooking and there are like 3 takeout or ready to eat meal options for me so... I'm not eating properly right now for sure. Which I think is taking a hit on my overall health and my energy levels.
I really miss chocolate and cheese.
Love to all.