Tuesday, May 15, 2012

radio silence

I'm alive! I swear!! Been a bit MIA in this realm lately, but I assure you all is well.

Updates, updates?

Firstly, baby S had her 9 month well check like, oh, a month ago or so. (Uh, she'll be 10 months old later this week--le sigh) Anyways. The appointment was a mixed bag, so to speak. Her pediatrician freaked out a bit when I told her that she wasn't crawling on hands and knees yet (she's been army crawling for a while, though) so she handed me this GIGANTIC, ridiculous development survey to fill out and I rushed to fill it out and, well, you know the story. The baby failed, or rather was deemed "borderline delayed" in several categories. Truthfully, I think I blew the survey because the questions were so absurd and were the types of things I would never pay attention to in my child and they asked the same question in different ways several times and BLAST IT ALL, I HATE THAT. She gave me a huge stack of things I should do with the baby to bring her up to speed. I glanced over it and have tried some of the more natural ones but really? The baby is FINE. She is fine. There is nothing wrong with her at all. She has just started showing interest in for real crawling this week... she was getting around GREAT crawling with her belly dragging on the ground so I just think she had no incentive to learn the "official" way to crawl. Little L never army crawled at all, so this whole stage was unfamiliar to me. Otherwise, she's feeding herself puffs, drinking water from a cup, finally showing interest in solids and totally within normal percentiles on weight again. (18.5 lbs at last check). She's been working on 4 upper teeth for weeks, is sleeping great in spite of it all and she's just perfect. She waves, claps, babbles "mama" and "baba" and is working on pulling herself up on anything that won't give way to her push. If she's not flashing a gigantic smile, she's wailing and throwing a fit about something or trying to catch the dog and grab his tail or knock over a stack of blocks her sister carefully arranged. IGNITING A FIRE STORM. Life for that baby? Is grand.

Little L has hit a wave of really bad behavior. People warned me 2 had nothing on 3 and all though I was holding out hope my precious child would again be an exception (really, that child has been a dream since she was born), she no longer is. She's exhibiting all kind of "not like her" behavior, lying, blaming things on the baby, directly disobeying, having meltdowns at the drop of a hat and being just downright rude and hurtful to myself and her daddy at times. We are dealing. Time outs only work so well when you are at the third one of the day and I am tired of taking toys away or threatening to withhold treats from her. I need creative parenting ideas. Got any? I really still think she's likely better than a lot of other 3 years out there in the world, but this is so HARD for me because it is so foreign right now. And when she's not on the warpath and being sweet? OH IS SHE EVER SWEET. She's adorable and hilarious and the things that come out of her mouth keep us giggling.

And me? I am just as busy as ever, finding that now the baby is in everything and needs GOBS AND GOBS of attention and often refuses one or both naps every day, my life is HARD. Way harder than ever, really. But at the same time, so good. I've been working out a TON. You name it. Boot camp, running, spin classes. If I can get my hiney out of bed at 5:00 AM and get to it, I've been doing it. I feel amazing. I'm not losing any weight really, but I'm feeling so much more tone and strong and my "happy" size clothes fit me great. My marriage is rock solid. My job is going really well. The weather is perfect. I love my church and I am REALLY loving The Story series.

I'm so thankful for everything in my life.

For those of you that don't know Jen, which I'm sure most of you do, please keep her in your prayers. My heart is broken for her. In fact, she and Ainsley have been the thing in the back of my mind/heart all these months since baby S was born that reminded me that NO MATTER WHAT drama we were dealing with, be it MSPI, nonstop screaming, sleepless nights, etc, nothing in my life was tougher than the battle Jen was fighting. And every time she posted a picture of Ainsley's beautiful, smiling face, it somehow made the world seem like a happier place for that moment. Every breath she took was a blessing and I know that Jen would have done absolutely anything for her. Just the thought of losing one of my children gives me a tight feeling of despair in my chest, I simply cannot imagine the agony of the reality of losing 2. One before she ever took her first breath and the other after almost 17 months of fighting every single day.

Treasure every single day, friends. Tomorrow is not promised.


  1. Ainsley's death is so sad, I can't imagine what Jen is going through.

    i find is CRAZY that your Dr's are scaring you about the crawling thing!!! they will crawl when they need too and its not like she isn't getting around! I am glad you say she is fine, because it dosen't make sense why they would be worries so soon, not crawling at 14months, ok maybe something there but at 10! Ivy and Ayla didn't crawl till 10 months old...nothing wrong with that.

    love the pic, glad life is going well for you :)

  2. Sounds like it's tough, but things seem to be looking on the bright side. We're dealing with tough behavior too - I've found putting her beloved doll in time out helps a bit. Even if the doll was out of sight before the behavior happened.

    I want your ability to work out. I just can't drag my butt out of bed that early without getting sick. Ugh.

    Sorry about the pedi being all crazy. Kids are on their own timelines. We know that. Don't they?


  3. Our tough weeks with B ebb and flow. Like this week? Is good, he's crazy, hilarious, chatty, kind, and sweet to j. But we will soon have a week of complete disobedience, tiredness, woeful, tantruming behavior. I have no magic pills, we just do lots of time outs. It works well for him though - he HATES being away from us (we send him to his room to calm down). I don't ever set a timer or anything, I just tell him he needs to think about whatever xyz he did and can come out when he's calm and ready to apologize.

    Our biggest struggle right now is that he keeps clocking his brother or friends and says "sawwy, it was an assident" (which makes me stifle a laugh, every time). We're trying to remind him that if you Do It On Purpose, it's not an assident.

    Ahh preschoolers. Glad your girls are doing well. I'm holding the Kneppers close to my heart.

  4. I thought crawling wasn't even a developmental milestone, because not all babies crawl. Certainly E's paediatrician didn't ask about it at 9 months, and the of the other babies I know on my birth club, the only ones who had paediatricians freak out were the ones who weren't rolling over at 9 months (which I think is fair). Babies do things on their own timelines. I'm glad you're so chilled about it.

    Also, you are amazing for working out as much as you do.

    No assvice for life with Ms. Hyde L., obviously, but will be interested to see what works.

    Glad they are both well. That story breaks my heart.


  5. Yes, Jen.... I couldn't believe what I was reading the other day. I feel really sad, that she past away.. I thought things were going well and that she would be able to come home one day. She not only lost the first twin, but the 2nd one also now. So sad....

  6. ah preschoolers, they are so challenging. we have the same issues and no good advice at all. just do your best, take a deep breathe and try it all over again. i have TONS more patience now that i'm not home all day with her - but even the 1-2 hours at night are TOUGH on me.

    i am so glad to read all the HAPPY! in your life right now :)