Friday, April 13, 2012

best laid plans

For a while after my husband told me about this trip to Puerto Rico and I was feeling uncertain about leaving the baby behind so soon, I wondered what it would be like for me to be left behind with the kids while he just went without me.

Well, now I know.

This week didn't exactly go as planned, to say the least. Saturday night, my throat started burning badly. I assumed it was allergies (as this has been my worst allergy season yet) and got very little sleep that night. I woke up Easter morning without a voice and feeling awful. I powered through the day but by the time my dear friend who was supposed to watch the girls came over to spend some time with us, I knew that I wasn't exactly improving. We were scheduled to leave Tuesday morning and I spent Monday trying to tidy up the house, stock the pantry with groceries, finish the girls' laundry and tie up loose work ends. I had a mani/pedi scheduled at 4:30 and I was still unable to speak and felt incredibly hot and exhausted the entire time I sat in the chair. By the time I got home, I knew I needed to direct myself to an urgent care clinic to make sure this was just allergies and nothing more. I wasn't interested in testing the Puerto Rican healthcare system and after 3 terrible sinus infections in the past few months, I couldn't imagine myself stranded out of the country without access to a doctor I trusted and blessed antibiotics.

So there I was, at 8:30 PM after putting the girls in baths and bed, doing web check-in for the nearest clinic, and telling myself "If it is only just allergies, there is no reason to question going on this trip. Just go and drink cocktails and recover from the miserableness on the beach." And I kept telling myself that over and over. It was only just allergies and I was about to waste $200 on a stupid visit to a stupid urgent care clinic late in the evening when I should be packing.

Only when the doctor stepped back in the room after performing a strep culture ("stupid strep culture will likely cost me $30 only to come back negative") to casually inform me that it was positive, I felt like I literally heard tires screeching on pavement. I was supposed to be on a plane in less than 7 hours and I was just informed I had flipping strep throat. WHAT 32 YEAR OLD GROWN UP GETS STREP THROAT IN APRIL?!?!?!?!?!

Then it really hit me that there was a good chance the girls would have it. And I thought about my sweet friend who was coming to watch them for the latter half of the trip and how I would feel if I was her, showing up to some one's house and managing their 2 sick children, one only 8 months old. Managing a sick baby is AWFUL, I can only imagine how awful managing a sick baby that isn't yours must be. At that, I knew I couldn't do it. It wasn't fair to anyone.


I listened to him pack while I tossed and coughed and sweat from my fever uncomfortably, and then next thing I knew he was kissing me goodbye at 3:30 AM and that was that. He was gone off to a tropical island and I was left home alone with 2 kids and no voice and a big bottle of amoxycillin to keep me company.

I feel awful for him, too. He spent the entire week alone on the beach in a 5 star resort with a bunch of married couples and received his award, alone. I kind of want to cry when I think about it, actually. Knowing that he wanted nothing more than for me to be there with him. I would have been awful company. I felt so sick for the first 2 days he was gone and then yesterday I suffered one of the worst migraine headaches I think I've had in years. I didn't open the blinds or acknowledge the outside world existed until around 5:00 when I knew I absolutely had no choice but to go get a can of formula for the baby and dinner for myself and the big one.

The only bright spot in my week was the fact I had nothing but time to read. My best friend e-loaned me the entire HungerGames trilogy and I devoured all 3 books in less than 3 days. I never get time to read anymore and I'm obsessive with a good book so it kept me plenty occupied and distracted from being too sad about the state of things.

I could whine and moan and complain about how much the whole week sucks but deep down inside I suspect there was a valuable reason I didn't make it on this trip. I'm not sure if something would have happened it I had gone but I'm just accepting the fact I'll never know and dreaming of the next time we have the opportunity to sneak off on vacation alone together.

I sure can't wait to see his face.


  1. How awful! All of it. I am so sorry that sickness kept you from some alone beach time with your husband. I hope you feel better very soon and that the girls have avoided catching it.

  2. OH NO! NO! I can't believe this!! I had strep about two years ago, maybe about this time. And really, it's AWFUL.

    But seriously, what terrible timing! Oh, I am so SAD for you and your lost beach vacation! SAAAAAAD.

    (Are you feeling better?)

  3. Oh that is awful. I haven't had strep since I was in grade five and I still vividly, vividly remember how miserable I was.

    And to get it and miss the beach vacation sans kiddos with hubby. Worst.timing.ever. Poor hubby too.

    Please tell me you still had the people who were going to look after your kids come in so they could still look after them and you could just pass out and get better.

    Hope you are feeling better.

  4. Aww man! I'm so sorry. :( I hope you get a makeup vacation soon. Glad you got some extra QT with your favorite princesses. Hope you're on the mend! xo

  5. Oh no.....I am so sorry =/ After reading your last post, I daydreamed about having a vacation too. Hoping you are feeling better.

  6. oh this is so crazy ! HOW disappointing. AHH i hate sickness. I am sorry. Did you girls get it? are you feeling better? so so sorry.

    when i was 15 I got DEATH mono, where my liver shut down the day before a huge family vacation on a Caribbean cruise and disney land trip! i had to stay was awful. i cried every day. i was so sick i couldn't move and it was really really lame. but i made it through and so did my family and you are right, things happen for a reason sometimes!

  7. Oh my goodness...bless your heart. I am so sorry you've been sick and that you didn't get to go on that amazing trip with your man. :( I would have cried for sure. You have the best attitude about it all! I hope you guys can get away, just the two of you, soon. Alex told me last night that we need a date...just the two of us. Our date nights have been at home and it's just not the same. It works but not the same. :)

    Feel better soon, Mama.


  8. ughhhhh i'm sorry for the sick (and the lack of vacationing)

    i hope you get a do-over soon

  9. awwwwwwwwwwww.... There will be other times!! So did the kids get sick??